Benchmark

I’m not quite at the four-month anniversary of Commencement, but it’s fitting that it’s less than a week away. (And yes, if you’ve been paying attention, I missed the three-month one…bad night, to say the least.) Now that my adult life has officially begun (damn, still getting used to that) it seems like a good time to reflect and make a fall semester resolution list.

New Year’s resolutions never really worked for me. Maybe it’s because the goals were so long-term they seemed out of reach, or it could just be that I figured I had a year to accomplish whatever goal I’d set for myself, and that amount of time was actually too much to keep me accountable. Whatever the reason, the summer resolution list I made for myself two months ago worked much better–and even then, I didn’t accomplish everything. So much for finishing that 1000 Days to the Bar book…or getting rid of a good portion of the stuff I accumulated in college. Oops. But hey, three out of five isn’t bad–and I managed to do the most difficult task, which is saying something. Still dealing with the effects of that one, by the way.

But on to the future. Time for a new list, which will hopefully generate new monthly progress reports. Here we go!

Fall Semester Resolutions (2011)

• Stay focused. Screw balance. Get the hang of this thing they call law school–and kick ass. But kick no one else around in the process.
• Don’t take life too seriously. Remember to laugh, to relax, and to be inspired, even if it’s just for five minutes.
• Try not to think about him. But if I must (and seriously, this is often inadvertent), make them good memories–the kind that make me say, “WTF?” with a smile instead of with painful questions.
• Get a better idea of whether Big Law is really for me. Rediscover my passion for the law. (Yes, I know how cheesy that sounds.)
• Start working out. Yup, here we go again.
• Build a group of friends in law school that’s just as tight, just as supportive, just as fun, just as crazy amazing as the ones I have from other chapters of my life. It’s already started, which is a good sign.

It’s nice to have a positive post for a change. To continue the theme, my dad sent me an email about a week ago that featured Michael Josephson’s words of wisdom to his college-bound daughter, which he shared with his listeners on KNX. It’s a great list for life in general, and there’s nothing quite like someone else’s new beginning to remind you of what you wish you had known when you were in their position–and to make a promise to yourself to incorporate the fruits of those lessons into your life.

Some Great Advice–For Any Stage of Life

1. Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes.
2. Choose to be happy. Choose to be cheerful. Choose to be optimistic.
3. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness, or pleasure with fulfillment.
4. Listen to both your heart and your head.
5. If you live a full life, there will be sadness, disappointment, and frustration, but tough times are temporary.
6. Persist with the confidence that no negative emotion can survive your will to be happy.
7. Be cautious, but don’t be afraid to risk failure.
8. Learn from every setback, and, on important things, never, never quit.
9. Live within your means; keep your needs simple.
10. Never let your happiness depend on things.
11. Become known for your honesty and integrity; be someone everyone trusts.
12. Treat everyone with respect, even when they don’t seem to deserve it.
13. Be someone others can count on, and find people you can count on.
14. Be fair, kind, and compassionate even when you don’t feel like it.
15. Choose friends who want the best for you and bring out the best in you.
16. Be willing to love with all your heart, but don’t make your happiness depend on the love or approval of anyone.
17. Insist on being treated with respect; do not make anyone a priority who only makes you an option. [AMEN: seriously, this one resonated with me. DAMN.]
18. Finally, don’t settle for a little life. Fill it with purpose and meaning, and people worthy of your love and respect.

I’m coming to the point in my life where I know my friends and I all have to grow up–we’re finally doing it instead of just thinking about it, and for me at least, my feelings about it fluctuate between excitement, resignation, understanding, and terror depending on the day. It’s the natural course of things–the show goes on, to borrow from Lupe Fiasco–and now it’s our turn. But at the same time, it’s important to remember that even though we’re assuming real responsibility and careers and difficult life decisions, we’re still young. We’re in our twenties and we don’t quite have it all figured out yet–even though we pretend we do. But as a very close friend (and Carrie Bradshaw) pointed out, this time in our lives is a time of endless possibilities. It’s a tough balancing act working to move forward while still holding on to the things that make us vibrant, joyful, crazy, and fun.

So in the spirit of remembering that it’s OK–hell, even necessary–to have fun every once in a while…

“We will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty. […] Won’t you come on and come on and raise your glass?!?!” ~Pink, “Raise Your Glass”

“Hot and dangerous…Tonight we’re going hard, just like the world is ours! We’re tearing it apart–you know we’re superstars; we are who we are! We’re dancing like we’re dumb, our bodies going numb; we’ll be forever young–you know we’re superstars; we are who we are!” ~Ke$ha, “We R Who We R”

“We’re all born superstars…In the religion of the insecure, I must be myself, respect my youth…I’m on the right track, baby, I was born to survive…I’m on the right track, baby, I was born to be brave.” ~Lady GaGa, “Born This Way”

Sometimes, that's OK. 🙂

Here’s to balancing those plates, walking that tightrope, flying on that trapeze–all a combination of sense and adventure. Sounds like my semester…